July 7, 2009
Increasing A Support Network by One
By Charles Lackner
About two years ago Mandy Commons started working in the marketing department of the company where I was the distribution manager. A few months later I learned that she had three children, one of whom has autism. Not knowing what to say, I said nothing. I listened to her talk about Bryce and how she battled it by herself at first, finding support as she went down a rocky path.
I began to research autism, and I learned that it is not something that can be cured with an operation.
Mandy is a fighter. When she believes in a cause she does not let go. She is currently president of the Kansas Chapter of the National Autism Association and a state representative for Unlocking Autism. She is listed on more than one autism web page as a contact for others needing help or information. She alone organized an autism conference in Pittsburg, Kansas, for the sole purpose of raising awareness and helping others.
In fall 2008 I started going with her and Bryce on outings to Joplin. This is a common activity for them, so that Bryce can go to the arcade at the mall and do other fun things. But, even Mandy’s other two kids might go sometimes, Bryce almost always wants it to be “just me and Mom.” In fact, there were many times I would have gone, but, Bryce would not let that happen.
Before I go on, I want to say that Mandy and I have talked a lot about autism, and I understand these situations. But, I also made note that having three kids is by itself time consuming, to say the least. But, Bryce required lots of attention. And, I knew that there were times Mandy could use a break, not just for herself, but, to be there for Emily and John.
Little by little I have become friends with Bryce. I would bring him a gift, nothing elaborate, usually just an item I had at the house. One day recently, Mandy was not feeling well. I stopped by to tell her I was going to Joplin on an errand. I suggested that Bryce could go with me that afternoon. I do not think either one of us expected the answer we received when she asked him about going with me at that time. His answer was “YES!” Bryce for the first time was going to Joplin without Mandy.
Both of us I think were ready for the meltdown. Mandy was watching out the window as Bryce got into my car for the first time ever. No problems. He and I set out on the 30-minute drive. My car became “the big blue car” and he named the little stuffed monkey on my dash Ollie. We proceeded to hit Wal-Mart, then on to the arcade in the mall to play Wheel of Fortune, his favorite where he won two balls and a frisbee. Then to Toys ‘R Us, where I got the tour and then on to drive go carts.
I believe I had more fun than Bryce that afternoon. And, Mandy’s support network was increased by one. She has someone else to help ease the stress. I will gladly hang out with Bryce; he has a new friend.
That is what autism awareness is all about. Bringing new people into the cause. And that is why Mandy is presenting the 2nd Annual Conference On August 14 – 15 in Kansas City at the Hyatt Regency Crown Center. The speakers include Mika Brzezinski from MSNBC. Like in my story, she works with Joe Scarborough, who has a son on the spectrum. Another speaker will be Rev. Lisa Sykes, of Richmond, Va., whose son has autism. Her book, “Sacred Spark” will be provided free to those who register by July 10. And, I can tell you, it is a great read. I do not say that often, nor do I admit often that something brought tears to my eyes. The book did that.
I look forward to meeting many people in Kansas City in August. For information about the conference please visit www.kansasautism.org.
