October 23, 2009
Putting the Brakes on an Asperger Monologue

By Jeanne Holverstott

Q: When we go out to dinner with friends and family, my teen-age son often regales the table with political discussions on topics that are usually out of reach for most kids his age. When he was a preteen, this would elicit chuckles from our friends. Now it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. Sometimes these friends will take the bait and debate him, and it never seems to turn out well. Other times they’ll wave off his precociousness, but he’ll persist. Sometimes he’ll even make political comments to the wait staff. It’s like he doesn’t know how else to engage people. I’m not sure how to handle these situations: by nipping it in the bud, playing along with him and hope it doesn’t go too far, or trying to change the subject.

What are your thoughts?
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June 6, 2009
Teachers: Show Some Compassion for ASD Students

By Toni Lapp
My son’s grade card arrived yesterday. For most parents, the arrival of the end-of-year grades is an occasion to celebrate. I’m just happy if there are no F’s. (It’s sometimes hard to explain this to family and friends: “No, my kid’s not on the honor roll, but he passed all his classes.”)

This year the most heartening news was that Ryan had received high marks in not just one, but two, count ‘em, two classes — Economics and Naval Science (Junior ROTC). Both these classes were led by teachers with whom my son had a good rapport, confirming my belief that behavioral issues are reduced when students on the spectrum have a positive connection with the instructor.
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June 1, 2009
The Summer Break: A Catch-22?

By Jeanne Holverstott, M.S.

Question: It seems like summer can be full of pitfalls for my son with Asperger’s — the structure has gone away, and he’s no longer in contact with classmates. He is content to play on the computer all day, but seems to get moody more easily. Should we treat summer vacation as a long break from school-year stress, or what?  

Answer: Summer vacation presents a contradiction: Children with autism spectrum disorders thrive on structure, routine, consistency. Summer vacation throws these principles of ASD parenting and behavior management in flux.
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Games to Enhance Turn-Taking, Sportsmanship, Social Skills

By Jeanne Holverstott, M.S.

Q. I read that when Temple Grandin was a young girl, her mother hired a nanny to play turn-taking games with her to improve social skills. What sort of games do you recommend? Are there any that you don’t recommend?

A. After every holiday meal, my family would gather around the dining room table with a game purposefully selected by my mother for this occasion. I remember Taboo, Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit, Outburst. No matter the age of the player, the expectations were the same: follow the rules, win with humility, lose with grace, do your best, and never, ever complain. Games make up the fabric of a childhood and, perhaps, a lifetime, and appropriate game play opens doors to respect, friendship, and fun.

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DEVELOPING TALENTS

Intervene, Intervene, Intervene

By Kate Duffy

A while back, Toni, the SpectrumConnection editor, asked me to write about how far parents should go to help their teens on the spectrum land a job. Since then, several of our Hot Topics parents have shared their kids’ job search stories with me, and I realized there was no easy answer to her question. For the most part, though, their stories revolved around the kids’ inability to accurately read situations, to remember instructions and to multitask to make a deadline. Looking at that list, it sounds like business as usual on the job for most of us — which is why it is so very important that our kids start learning about the world of work as soon as they can.

That’s why the short answer to Toni’s question is this: do what you need to do.

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